Sharktopus

2010
Dir. Declan O’Brien

An eeevviiiil, egotistical bio-geneticist, along with his smart'n'sexy daughter, develops a hybrid half-shark/half-octopus for the US military (!). Code-named S11, the creature has been designed as the ultimate weapon in aquatic attack and defence. Natch. But when its control unit malfunctions during a test run, the S11 is accidentally unleashed and sets off in the direction of a popular tourist resort. Oh noes! Can our intrepid heroes - eviiil egotistical bio-geneticist’s sexy daughter and a buff'n'burly ex-employee-turned slacker/mercenary - track down and capture the mutant killing machine before it snacks on a buffet of oiled-up, dressed-down holidaymakers?! Can they heck!

Half Shark. Half Octopus. All Killer.

With a title like Sharktopus, let’s face it, one really ought to know what to expect – or more to the point; what one is letting oneself in for. Playing out as a mainly enjoyable, good-natured, tongue-in-cheek monster romp, the film has already been garnering a sizable cult following for being so bad it’s, well, only rather entertaining. Add to this the fact that it is the latest sci-fi horror creature-feature from legendary B-movie producer Roger Corman and you may find reason to get excited. Don’t get too excited though, he’s only producing this one, and though it may share much in common with the abundance of schlocky B-movies he produced throughout the 60s, 70s and 80s, it doesn’t quite have the sly wit or subversive humour that made his own directorial flicks so damn good. Sharktopus does seem to be in keeping with one of Corman’s usual ethoses though: shoot the film as quickly and cheaply as possible and then get the hell out of there! The savvy old geezer has sensed he was onto a winner with this one – particularly in light of the cheap and cheerful B-frights played for laughs being churned out by the likes of The Asylum, and he’s gracefully hopped on the latest B creature-feature bandwagon purely for the money. At least he’s always been honest about this, but unlike when he was writing and directing his own stuff, this lacks his appealing beatnik charm and droll wit.


Opening with a barrage of sunny locations, frolicking beach babes and washboard-chested surfer dudes, the tone of Sharktopus is instantly set. Like the film’s more recent contemporaries such as Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha and Shark Attack III: Megalodon, it is played purely for cheap laughs. In fact, Sharktopus follows these other films ridiculously closely in terms of story, too – the involvement of scientists-playing-god, evil military schemes, experiments with deadly animals gone wrong, old flames coming back to help destroy the monster, bug-eyed extras getting eaten by 'special' effects and the revelation that the female scientist/marine biologist/bio-mechanic is attractive when she takes off her glasses and lets her hair down. Crazy!



Sharktopus unfolds as a series of scenes featuring busty, bikini-clad babes and bronzed, hunky himboes being attacked and eaten by the titular monster as they sunbathe, frolic, bungee jump, broadcast pirate radio shows, whatever, while our intrepid heroes bluster around after it, failing to stop it until one of them finally remembers that they can somehow blow up its brain. Or something. Hey the science in these flicks is usually pretty basic. And have you seen the labs they create these monsters in? All pretty IKEA lighting and smooth surfaces. I suspect the lab in Sharktopus was the same one Tiffany used in Mega Piranha to create her, well, mega-piranhas. Also present is the obligatory love story in which the constantly bickering hero and heroine eventually fall for each other/rekindle a dead romance. Once order has been restored they walk off into a cheap sunset.

The characters spout more cheesy one-liners than the titular beast has teeth; the best of course being “It’s armed and dangerous!” Geddit? Armed and dangerous? Eric Roberts does his usual ‘bad guy’ impersonation, while immaculately groomed leads Kerem Bursin and Sara Malakul Lane play it fairly straight. The rest of the cast play everything for laughs and appear to be enjoying themselves immensely.


O Hai! I wantz noms.
The highlight (for this writer anyway) comes when producer Corman makes a highly telling cameo that plays up to his reputation. Sauntering onto a beach he witnesses a skimpily dressed woman with a metal detector (!) attacked by a cheap looking monster and get dragged off into the sea. He picks up the gold coin she had uncovered and carries on about his business. Corman of course made a career of going straight for the money after he’d overseen a plethora of actresses get menaced by cheap and shoddy B-monsters. A producer’s gotta eat, right?

Sharktopus is for those who loved Mega-Piranha et al (let's face it - who didn't) and is of course best enjoyed through the bottom of a wine-glass in the company of friends who should know better. And then followed by Corman’s Little Shop of Horrors, Creature From the Haunted Sea or A Bucket of Blood to remind you how good he can really be!

Sharktopus (cert. tbc) will be released on DVD (£5.99) by Anchor Bay Entertainment on 14th March 2011.

Popular posts from this blog

Whistle and I’ll Come to You (2010)

Image
Dir. Andy de Emmony After placing his senile wife in a care home, retired astronomer James Parkin (John Hurt) heads for the coast to revisit their ‘old haunts’, including the now out-of-season hotel they honeymooned in. By day he is stalked along the windswept beaches by a spectral figure dressed in white, and by night he is terrorised by strange sounds and someone, or something, attempting to enter his room… In the 2000s BBC4 attempted to reignite the old Ghost Story at Christmas tradition by adapting MR James’s A View from a Hill (2005) and Number 13 (2006). This series was seemingly short lived though, as their next outing wasn’t until 2010, and an unusual reinterpretation of James’s classic chiller Oh Whistle and I’ll Come to You, My Lad . While de Emmony’s direction captures the atmosphere and tone of James very well, this film differs significantly from other adaptations, including Jonathan Miller’s supremely unsettling 1968 take . Neil Cross’s screenplay only incorpo...
Read more

Caveat (2020)

Image
Isaac, a brooding drifter suffering from memory loss, agrees to look after Olga, the niece of his acquaintance Moe. A troubled woman prone to bouts of catatonia, Olga lives in an old, ramshackle house on an isolated island in the middle of a dark lake. Isaac agrees to wear a chained harness that prevents him from going into certain rooms. He gradually comes to learn of the unsettling history of the house and the unquiet dead it harbours within its walls... Written and directed by Damian McCarthy,  Caveat  is steeped in the Gothic tradition. With distinct echoes of the work of Edgar Allan Poe, it is ripe with a lingering atmosphere of morbidity and decay. McCarthy's screenplay toys with themes such as psychological rot, dark family secrets, and the aftermath of unspeakable violence and cruelty. The story unfolds within the creepy confines of the lonely, mouldy house, with myriad forbidden rooms, hidden passageways and concealed bloody secrets. The house itself is cut off from c...
Read more

Shankill Graveyard

Image
While staying with my parents recently in my home town of Lurgan, County Armagh, I naturally decided to pay a visit to a few of the local graveyards. Top of my list was Shankill Graveyard. Located just outside the town centre, and surrounded by a residential area, the site upon which Shankill cemetery stands was a place of worship in earlier centuries. Shankill Parish church was originally situated here before it was eventually moved to the town centre. The outline of a double ring fort is still noticeable. Amongst those at rest in the cemetery are the Brownlow family, who established the town in 1610 when they were given land beside Lough Neagh by the British government during the Plantation. They eventually contributed to the development of the linen industry the town became famous for throughout the seventeenth century. Their family vault is situated in the centre of the cemetery where the old church once stood. Apparently well off English families such as the Brownlow’s, sough...
Read more